YMCA

Litter & Snack Lids Happen! Here’s How We Help Pick Up The Pieces

Posted on 30 September 202410 October 2024 by Marc Ford

So, let’s kick things off with a story, because every great article needs a head-scratching, “Did that just happen?” moment. Picture this: my colleague, casually enjoying a morning stroll to work, spots a young lad and his mum leaving the shop. Nothing unusual, right? Until the child opens up his breakfast snack of choice, drops the lid straight on the floor like it’s an Olympic sport, and carries on. Now, my colleague, ever the upstanding citizen, kindly picks up the lid and says in gentle way, “I think you accidentally dropped this.” What follows? A tirade of abuse from the mum. Apparently, we’re in a 2024 where littering is fine now, and kindly pointing it out is not. Who knew?

Here’s the thing: parents leave a lasting mark on their children, and not just in these oddly public displays of litter chaos. Whether we like it or not, the way parents raise their children influences how these boys and girls, navigate the world as young adults – and how they’ll handle situations like, I don’t know, ‘dropping lids’ in public spaces. Parenting is this delicate balancing act, and the effects ripple through their kids’ emotional well-being, independence, relationships, and even their approach to life’s challenges. Let’s break it down, shall we?

Emotional Well-being and Self-Esteem: Put the Phone Down, Mum!

Here’s a fun fact: your kids are watching you all the time. Not in a creepy, “peek around the corner” way, but more in a “how does mum handle stress” or “does dad think I’m doing alright?” sort of way. If you’re the kind of parent who’s always present, showing up for the school plays (even if it’s 43 minutes of children awkwardly singing off-key), you’re building up your child’s emotional resilience. They feel valued, supported, and – dare we say – loved.

Now, let’s flip the coin. If you’re too busy scrolling through Instagram while your kid is practically defying gravity doing a double back summersault with a half pike on the monkey bars, that can send a different message: “I’m not that important.” Overly critical, neglectful, or emotionally distant parenting can turn into a cocktail of low self-esteem, adult insecurities, and that lovely trio of anxiety, depression, and relational chaos. So, maybe we should put the phone down once in a while? Your future emotionally stable adult will thank you

Independence and Decision-Making: You’ve Got to Let Them Fail Sometimes

Remember when you were 16 and wanted to make all your own decisions? Your parents probably stepped in with a mix of “sure, go for it” and “yeah, no way.” That balance is key. I genuinely had to remember that with my own lad, who’s now 21, 5 inches taller than me, built like a rugby player (and I swear he’s the milkman’s!). When parents find that sweet spot between letting their children make choices and providing just enough structure, they’re actually giving their young adults the tools to survive the big, bad world. These kids grow up knowing how to problem-solve and take responsibility – whether that’s paying rent or deciding whether to buy organic vegetables or stick with the trusty frozen pizza.

But, what about those parents who hover? The infamous “helicopter parents.” These kids might grow into young adults who panic at the thought of making their own decisions. It’s not that they don’t want independence; they’ve just never had the chance to practice it. You know, the kind of young adult who’ll call mum to ask if it’s okay to buy non-dairy milk. Overprotection might feel safe, but it’s a recipe for decision-making disasters later on.

Relationships: It’s Not All About the Love Songs

Here’s a juicy bit: the way you handle relationships as a parent sets the bar for how your child will manage their own relationships – romantic, professional, and otherwise. If you’re rocking the healthy communication, conflict resolution, and mutual respect in your home, chances are your kid will go into adulthood with a pretty solid idea of how to build meaningful relationships.

On the other hand, if your household looks more like a battleground where no one talks but everyone glares – yeah, that doesn’t go unnoticed. Those dysfunctions carry over, and suddenly your adult child is struggling with trust issues or can’t quite figure out why all their relationships feel a bit rocky. So, if you can, try not to let family dinners turn into passive-aggressive silence fests.

Academic and Career Success: Aim High, but Not Too High

Parental expectations are a double-edged sword. On the one side, if you’re involved in your child’s academic life, cheering them on and showing genuine interest in what they care about, they’re more likely to thrive. They’ll grow up ambitious, motivated, and ready to take on their careers with enthusiasm.

But here’s where it gets tricky: push too hard, and suddenly you’ve got a young adult who’s burnt out before they’ve even graduated. Maybe they’re chasing a career they don’t actually want, or they’re perpetually stressed trying to meet impossible standards. It’s a delicate line to walk, but finding the balance between encouraging ambition and respecting their unique interests is key. Otherwise, they’ll end up having that mid-life crisis at 24!

(I mean, I write this and read that nearly a quarter of students who received the result of ‘DDD’ for their A-Levels were awarded a first in their degree’s for the 2022-2023 year. LINK HERE to article. So like everything in this article, we’re all learning, every single day.)

Coping Mechanisms and Resilience: The Ultimate Life Skills

Life isn’t always rainbows and unicorns; it throws curveballs. So how parents react to stress is a massive lesson for their kids. If you’re a cool cucumber under pressure, your kids will probably pick up on that and learn to approach life’s challenges with a bit more grace. Maybe they won’t cry over spilled milk – or dropped lids.

But if your coping mechanisms are more “throw things and yell,” your children might inherit those lovely traits too. And suddenly, when they hit adult stress – whether it’s job rejection or a breakup – they might not have the healthiest toolbox to navigate it. It is something that happened to me, but I did become aware enough to not only change my own toolbox for coping, I took the step of talking to my boy about the mistakes that I had made so he could make better choices and understand their consequences. Teaching our children how to manage emotions, seek support, and be okay with failure? That’s parenting gold.

Parenting’s Legacy – No Pressure, Right?

Parenting is hard—no doubt about it. It’s not about getting everything perfect (because honestly, who has time for that?), but about recognizing that your choices, behaviours, and even your slip-ups along the way, shape the young people your children grow into. You’re building the framework for how they see the world, how they handle stress, make decisions, and form relationships.

This is where the YMCA steps in to support families and young people. Through its youth programs, mentorship opportunities, and community support, the YMCA provides that extra layer of guidance and care that complements the work parents are already doing. Whether it’s helping young people build self-esteem through sports, giving them a safe space to make decisions in leadership roles, or offering emotional support through counselling and wellbeing programs, the YMCA acts as a bridge for those moments when parenting has broken down or feels overwhelming.

While we may not have all the answers, the YMCA believes in the power of love, support, and autonomy to help young adults grow into confident, resilient individuals. After all, it’s not about sprinting to get it perfect – it’s about walking alongside families and young people, step by step, in their journey. There may not be medals for perfect parenting, but the YMCA makes sure there’s plenty of support, encouragement, and maybe a few extra lids for their snacks along the way.

It’s a marathon, not a sprint—but don’t worry, no one’s handing out medals for perfect parenting or the perfect, role model of a young adult. Just lids for their snacks.

World Mental Health Day: A Day of Reflection and Action for YMCA

Posted on 23 September 202410 October 2024 by Marc Ford

October 10th marks ‘World Mental Health Day’, a day dedicated to raising awareness and encouraging open conversations about mental health. This year, the theme is more important than ever as mental health challenges continue to affect individuals and communities globally. At the YMCA, this day holds special significance or us, not only for the residents we support but also for the staff and colleagues who work tirelessly to create a nurturing and compassionate environment.

Why Mental Health Matters

Mental health is not just the absence of mental illness; it is the foundation of our well-being, influencing how we think, feel, and act. It affects our relationships, how we handle stress, and our ability to make decisions. Yet, despite its importance, mental health is often neglected or stigmatised. ‘World Mental Health Day’ reminds us that mental health is everyone’s concern, and it is vital to our overall health and happiness.

For YMCA Residents and Young People

For many residents at the YMCA Leiestershire, the journey toward better mental health is part of their personal growth and healing. Our YMCA is more than just a place to live; it is a safe space where individuals can access support, build resilience, and form meaningful connections. On ‘World Mental Health Day’, residents are encouraged to take time for self-care, reflect on their mental wellness, and engage in the programs and resources we offer.

Workshops, peer support groups, and mindfulness activities are just some of the ways we help residents manage their mental health. This day serves as a reminder that their struggles are seen, their voices are heard, and help is available. It’s a day to remind them they are not alone on their journey.

For our YMCA Staff and Colleagues

At YMCA Leiestershire, we recognise that mental health doesn’t just affect the people we serve – it also impacts those who provide care and support. Working in such a people – centered organisation can be emotionally demanding, and it’s essential that our staff and colleagues prioritise their own mental health, too.

On this day, we encourage our team to pause and check in with themselves. How are they really feeling? Have they taken time to care for their own mental well-being? This is an opportunity for our staff to connect with one another, share their experiences, and support each other in maintaining a healthy work-life balance. The YMCA values a culture of care, and on ‘World Mental Health Day’, we highlight the importance of staff well-being as a core part of our mission.

Moving Forward Together

World Mental Health Day is more than just a day of awareness – it’s a call to action. For the YMCA community, this means continuing to break down the stigma around mental health, ensuring that both residents and staff feel supported, and creating spaces where people can seek help without fear of judgment.

As we commemorate this day, let’s remember that mental health is a journey, not a destination. Whether you are a resident, a staff member, or part of the larger YMCA family, your mental health matters, and together, we can create a future where mental well-being is prioritized for everyone.

Let’s make today a step forward in that journey.

The Jobs Disadvantage

Posted on 27 August 2024 by Marc Ford

A recent report from the Social Mobility Commission didn’t hold back: “Class privilege remains entrenched as social mobility stagnates.” Essentially, professional jobs are still largely in the hands of those born into professional families, who benefit from better education, unpaid internships, and well-connected networks that give them a head start. While the Commission rightly emphasizes the need for more investment in education, especially for 16-18 year olds, there’s another key element to consider: the role of employers. And what does this mean for the young people who come through our doors at the YMCA?

More employers are starting to see the importance of tackling social mobility, particularly in cities, where companies are finding ways to attract and hire diverse local talent. While graduates from privileged backgrounds often have the advantage of being highly mobile, those from working-class backgrounds tend to be the most dedicated employees. But for those from truly disadvantaged backgrounds, just getting a foot on the ladder can be a huge challenge, despite their best efforts.

Hiring from disadvantaged backgrounds isn’t just about doing the right thing socially – it’s actually a smart strategy for the long haul. But to make it work, employers need to understand the unique hurdles these young people face.

Consider the work done by ‘We Rise in Brixton’ with young people in Lambeth, many of whom are at risk of unemployment due to poverty. Black Caribbean boys, in particular, face significant challenges, especially after age 16. These young people grow up in tough environments – families struggling to make ends meet, dealing with sick or distressed parents, caring for siblings, and attending under-resourced schools where they’re often labelled, stereotyped, and/or excluded.

Yet, despite all of this, the young people they work with – and those we see at YMCA Leicestershire – are bright, funny, enterprising, and ambitious. They have a deep understanding of life and an incredible resilience.

In contrast, kids from middle-class families often have a safer, more secure upbringing, with parents who guide them, create enriching experiences, and invest in their cultural and conversational development. On the other hand, children from disadvantaged backgrounds or those in our care face insecurity, neglect, emotional turmoil, fear of violence, and limited exposure to the city’s rich culture. This makes it harder for them to achieve good grades, and it often takes them longer to find the right path after GCSEs.

So, recently it’s been a huge win for two of our residents who not only achieved fantastic A-Level results but have also decided to pursue further education at university.

Employers need to realise that even the brightest and most talented young people from disadvantaged backgrounds might have gaps in their knowledge and experience compared to their middle-class peers. They come from a different cultural context and might not be familiar with the “usual work chat” about topics like Brexit, climate change, or the latest movies and music.

This is why traditional interviews and selection processes, which focus on personal presentation and “polish,” often put working-class kids at a disadvantage. The typical “Tell me about a time when…” or “Give me an example of…” questions can be particularly tough for them to navigate.

On a related note, through several conversations with my generation (50+) and recent reports about retailers regretting the move to self-scan checkouts, the topic of ‘Saturday Jobs’ came up. Many of us remember starting out as paper delivery kids, checkout operators, shoe sales assistants, record store clerks, and babysitters. But where did all those entry-level jobs go? That might be a topic for another post, but it’s worth noting that a new ONS dataset reveals that economic inactivity among 18-24-year-olds (those not seeking work or getting interviews) has risen from 28% ten years ago to over 33.3% in 2024. Opportunities have dried up, and with the social gap widening in the UK, young people from disadvantaged backgrounds are finding it harder and harder to access meaningful work and careers, despite their potential.

But there’s an even deeper issue at play: a profound, often hidden, and sometimes crippling lack of self-belief. These young people have ambition, but deep down, they often don’t think they deserve much or have much to offer. Many of the young people we work with never even consider the opportunities that big companies provide. They don’t hear about these opportunities, and even when they do, they often think, “That’s not for me. I’m not good enough/smart enough/experienced enough” (you can fill in the blank with their reasons). Too often, they rule themselves out before they even try.

Navigating the world of opportunities can be incredibly confusing, especially without parental support. But when given a chance, these young people are eager to grab it. It’s amazing how powerful a simple, genuine conversation can be.

So, how can we have more of these meaningful conversations with young people?

Today’s youth learn about the world through social media and often feel a personal connection to the bloggers they follow. This creates huge opportunities to connect on a more human level. Yet, we often find that communication from big companies fails to resonate with these kids.

If we want diverse young people from disadvantaged backgrounds to apply for these opportunities, we need to take a different approach. Companies, businesses, and their recruitment teams need to speak in a way that resonates with these young people, actively seek them out, and make it clear that they are wanted.

So, the question is… Are you ready to try something different?

The Power of Toast

Posted on 20 August 2024 by Marc Ford

The humble slice of toast, mainly seen as just a quick cheap breakfast item, holds a surprising power, especially for those who may feel isolated or lonely. For individuals who don’t interact with many people during the day, toast can serve as an unexpected source of connection, nourishment, and routine.

Fostering Connection and Conversation

Toast, paired with tea or coffee, has an almost universal appeal and a way of bringing people together. For someone who feels lonely, the couple of minutes (depending on your preferential degree of burntness) waiting on the toaster to pop up can be a simple act that opens the door to interaction. Whether it’s residents sharing breakfast on a table with another resident or staff engaging in a brief chat about anything the toast becomes a shared experience. Even in solitude, and often the young person will take their toast to their safe space, the act of having made the toast connects people to a larger social ritual, often sparking memories or small moments of human interaction.

Toast Talk “In prison we had a trolley just like that, small quiet wheels, we would queue up and make our own toast – I like that you offer to make the toast but it’s not necessary, I can do it….but thank you”

Providing Comfort and Nourishment

Beyond its social dimension, toast also provides physical nourishment, often offering a small but important source of nutrition, particularly when paired with toppings like peanut-butter, jam or Nutella. Our Lady Kate informed me that a peanut/Nutella Combo on toast is known amongst her homeless breakfasters as a Snickers and it has become a favourite. I take a tiny pleasure in introducing new people to Marmite, generally on first bite they thank me and wonder where this manna from heaven has been missing all their short lives – occasionally it can go wrong and they run off to spit it up cussing me as they go. For individuals who struggle to maintain a balanced diet, especially those living alone, toast can serve as a reliable and manageable way to start the day with something warm and nutritious. The act of preparing and eating toast can be grounding, a small comfort that helps ease the feeling of being disconnected from others. The joy of serving a young person a plate of hot buttery toast is a simple kindness that both staff and residents benefit from.

Building a Sense of Routine and Structure

The ritual of making toast can give a sense of purpose and structure to a person’s day, vital for those who might struggle with a lack of routine. Starting the day with a simple activity, like making toast and tea, can set the tone for more organisation and calm throughout the day. This act can become a comforting anchor, a predictable and dependable moment that provides stability, even if other parts of the day feel uncertain or empty.

Toast Talk “My course starts at 9.30, if I am here at 9 I can have tea, milk, 3 sugars and 2 toast. I sit quiet in the window area and watch the traffic. I like to think about the day at college. Sometimes I am a bit late, just a few minutes, I blame the toast”

Empowering Small Acts of Self-Care

For people who may struggle with feelings of loneliness or isolation, simple self-care routines like making toast can become acts of empowerment. It reminds them that they have control over certain aspects of their day. Even something as seemingly small as choosing a topping or deciding on the right level of crispness can be a way to assert personal preference, providing a subtle boost to one’s sense of autonomy.

Toast Talk “I move out later this week, there is no fear like there was when I moved in, I am calm now and I have people who care. When I come back to visit can I still have breakfast?”

A Symbol of Simple Joy and Connection

What makes toast particularly powerful is that it is accessible to almost everyone. It’s easy to make, versatile, and can be prepared with minimal effort, which makes it particularly important for people who may not have the energy or motivation to engage in more complex activities. But more than that, toast is warm, comforting, and familiar, making it an ideal vehicle for fostering moments of peace, connection, and small talk—whether it’s with another person, or simply with oneself.

In short, toast isn’t just a food; it’s an invitation to pause, to engage, to reflect, and to nourish both the body and the soul. For people facing loneliness or isolation, toast can be a powerful and grounding presence, enabling connection and providing a sense of purpose, even on the quietest of days.

No cereals are disrespected in the writing of this ode to toast and various cereals are also available on the trolley (toast is the most popular).

Breakfast at YMCA Leicestershire is on offer every weekday from 8.30 – 10.00 a.m. and Toast Talk are anonymous quotes from residents.

𝐘𝐌𝐂𝐀 𝐋𝐞𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐞 attend National Conference

Posted on 8 July 20248 July 2024 by Marc Ford

YMCA England and Wales National Conference 2024 in Nottingham

Hold on to your hats because Thursday, July 4th, 2024, kicked off with Election Day and the start of the YMCA England and Wales National Conference! It promised two days of excitement and engagement at the East Midlands Conference Centre, University of Nottingham.

Roy O'Shaughnessy at YMCA National Conference 2024 in Nottingham — Roy O’Shaughnessy at YMCA National Conference 2024 in Nottingham

Hundreds of eager delegates from across the nation showed up bright and early, grabbing their tea and coffee before diving into a jam-packed day (and a night of election-watching!). Roy O’Shaughnessy, the Conference Chair and YMCA National Board Chair, gave a hearty welcome in the Conference Theatre. “We’re here to celebrate YMCA’s awesome work nationwide,” he cheered. It was a delightful mix of new and familiar faces, with some folks just weeks into their YMCA roles (including yours truly) and others boasting over 40 years of service!

Paul Brown CEO of YMCA Leicestershire at YMCA National Conference 2024 — Paul Brown CEO of YMCA Leicestershire

Paul Brown, Chief Executive of YMCA Leicestershire and National Board member, then kicked off with an inspiring devotion, sharing his YMCA journey. His passion and drive led him to become Chief Executive at just 36, making him the only Black chief executive at YMCA England and Wales for over a decade. Paul’s story, including dealing with a tasteless anonymous gift, highlighted his relentless fight against discrimination and his commitment to the youth he serves and why he is considered by many in attendance as someone we should all look towards in leadership.

Youth Ambassadors at YMCA National Conference 2024

The first main session saw Jack Chesterman, Campaigns Manager at YMCA England & Wales, introducing Youth Ambassadors Siana Beard, Declan Carr, and Jessica Marriott. These young heroes bravely shared their experiences and roles, overcoming nerves to deliver powerful presentations.

Denise Hatton at YMCA National Conference 2024

Next up, Denise Hatton, National General Secretary of YMCA England & Wales, delivered a punchy address on the theme “Now’s Our Chance,” inspired by YMCA’s Manifesto and future work. “YMCA is now larger, stronger, more influential, and more cohesive, with a clear direction to serve young people and their communities,” she said. “This conference is the place to forge lasting working relationships.”

Mark Gifford at YMCA National Conference 2024

After lunch, Mark Gifford, Chief Executive of the National Citizen Service, highlighted some worrying stats: 20% of young people live in poverty, and over 10% are out of education and training. Despite these challenges, Mark’s message was one of hope and breaking barriers.

The afternoon was buzzing with workshops: Richard James on YMCA St Pauls Group’s new Wimbledon development, Chris Kirkwood and Leo Copsey on YMCA Lincolnshire’s Youth Investment Fund project, and many more inspiring sessions from various YMCAs.

Ben Page of IPSOS at YMCA National Conference 2024

Day one wrapped up hilariously with Ben Page, Chief Executive of Ipsos, dissecting the General Election’s implications for the charity sector with humour and honesty. And yes, he wore red socks… purely coincidental?

Soheila Hayek World YMCA at YMCA National Conference 2024

Day two kicked off early on Friday with more tired eyes than coffee cups, mainly through election watching and not the previous nights Bingo. Roy O’Shaughnessy welcomed everyone back before Soheila Hayek, President of World YMCA, discussed YMCA’s global impact. “YMCA’s magic is in being both local and global, with YMCAs worldwide believing in our mission.”

The morning buzzed with over 15 workshops on leadership, marketing, impact data, and more. After a quick lunch, we dove into the final sessions.

Rev Richard Cole at YMCA National Conference 2024

The grand finale featured Strictly Come Dancing legend and part of The Communards, the Right Reverend Richard Coles. He delivered a keynote that took us through his incredible life journey, from homelessness to the YMCA, music, the church, and even a bit of dancing. (Marc, our new marketing guy, even snagged a cheeky selfie with him!)

Marc and Rev. Richard Cole at YMCA National Conference 2024

The conference concluded with Roy O’Shaughnessy’s final words, marking the end of a truly inspiring event. With over 350 delegates from more than 45 YMCAs, it was the most well-attended conference to date, already setting the stage for next year.

From my perspective as a newbie, the conference was brilliantly organised, filled with passionate people dedicated to empowering young people in England and Wales. YMCA, one of the oldest charities, continues to ensure every young person has a fair chance to discover who they are and what they can become. Cheers to that!